Empezar De Nuevo

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• The road to the midnight nation can be erased only through compassion •


       Anonymous

This made me smile, I love receiving compliments on how I write more than anything! I’m actually quite surprised to hear that though, as I don’t post as much anymore, probably due to expressing any bottled up feelings through gaming instead.

I’ve been asked this before: there is a story behind it but I won’t be able to explain it very well. Basically, this ‘her’ that I speak about a lot is the only person with who I’ve regretted my actions. I believe the cliché that everything in life happens for a reason but I refuse to accept that for the situation that occured. I went to the same school as this girl and we only reallly started talking a lot during our final year. We had more in common than I thought. It then became something more than friends, but I had a boyfriend at the time. It got extremely complicated. I liked her back and broke up with my boyfriend but didn’t tell her until maybe a month or so afterwards, because I wasn’t ready for dating straightaway. She got the impression that I was messing her around, which is understandable, we both had massive trust issues. In the end, I just wanted to be friends, it didn’t matter to me if she no longer wanted something more. I tried to arrange meeting up but it never happened, she was always too busy. We spoke differently though, than before. That’s how I knew we would never be friends again. She’s a very fragile person. I just wish that I had realised that before I ruined everything.

Now, she has a boyfriend. I do hope she’s happy. Sometimes I think about her and I feel sad, maybe because I couldn’t maintain a friendship with her, because I know how much better my life would be with her in it. That’s the only thing that I regret.

Fuck, I feel depressed just writing this.

You see, I couldn’t really explain this very well. But I hope you get the idea x